Teri Hatcher: ‘Would I beat you at pool? It depends on how much we are drinking’

My daughter, now 20 and a connoisseur of horror, still rates 2009’s Coraline as the most disturbing film she’s ever seen. How do you feel about terrifying a whole generation of children? SuburbanGuerrillaWell, I don’t feel good about that. I don’t want any children to be scared. Coraline is one of the things I’m most proud of, even though I’m not on camera. [Director] Henry Selick and I worked hard to create the three different versions of Mother that I play. Without the scary factor, you’d have no ability for Coraline to become courageous, brave and ultimately save the day. I feel like my piece of the puzzle is important, so I will defend it.
What are your memories of the time the picture of you naked wrapped in a Superman cape was reportedly the most downloaded image on the internet? VerulamiumParkRangerI broke the internet when we still had dial-up. I don’t credit myself with being so fabulous. I do remember the photoshoot, which was to promote the TV show. It took all day. I was wearing a white blouse and pencil skirt because Lois is a reporter from the Daily Planet, with the cape wrapped over. It wasn’t until the last take of the day that someone said: “Could we try the cape without the blouse?” I thought: “What does that imply? Why would Lois Lane be naked under the cape?” We only did it as a lark, but the result was evocative. Now I’m so much older, I still feel proud of it.
Did you steal anything from the Desperate Housewives set? Johnnox1I didn’t steal anything. I was given something. In the pilot, I take this Trojan horse made from popsicle sticks that my character’s daughter has made, and shove it down the kitchen sink to fabricate a clog, so that when Mike the plumber comes over, I can keep him there to flirt with. So I have the popsicle Trojan horse statue.
You’ve covered the Beatles on a compilation album and performed in fundraising collective Band From TV. Do you find joy in singing? VerulamiumParkRangerI do enjoy singing. I played Morticia in The Addams Family Musical a couple of years ago in Los Angeles, my first time singing on stage in 20 years. I’ve played Sally Bowles in Cabaret. I don’t do it enough not to be scared by it. I’m not brilliant, but I’m not horrible. I should probably be more practised so I don’t feel so incredibly scared. It’s a love-hate relationship. I love musical theatre but I’m also terrified of it.The New Adventures of Superman used to be on after Big Break. Do you know any snooker trick shots? vammypI’m not familiar with this show, but snooker is like pool, right? I was an only child. My dad was an electrical engineer, so the things I became good at were bowling, golf and pool because they included angles, speed and hand-to-eye-coordination. So I do understand the theory of a bank shot, and I have pulled off one once or twice. Could I beat you at pool? It depends on how much we are drinking!
I’ve never managed to figure out whether Paris Carver’s demise in Tomorrow Never Dies is because Bond doesn’t bother to make sure she’s safe or whether neither 007 nor Mrs Carver herself realise the danger she’s in. What’s your take? aliasboyI’ve been lucky enough to end up involved in some things that have iconic quotation marks around them: Lois Lane, Seinfeld’s girlfriend, a Bond girl. I do step back with a lot of gratitude. Tomorrow Never Dies was a very small role, perfect as I was secretly nine weeks pregnant. It was only two weeks, a couple of scenes, then I’d be too pregnant to keep working. But the pregnancy got leaked and it was out of my control. I don’t think you’d get away with that any more. Women’s rights are much stronger. You’re allowed to have privacy. Women are sensitive before their first trimester because you’re still wondering if it’s all going work out. I wanted to be in the movie, but being a mother was at the forefront of my mind, whereas the forefront of somebody else’s mind might have been: “Oh, I’m in this James Bond movie. That’s so cool.”
If you could Quantum Leap back in time to portray any historical character, who would it be? Sagarmatha1953If I was portraying them, I wouldn’t have to Quantum Leap to become them. I’m curious about science, history and travel, so there’s a lot of things I’d like to have been part of. You get to a point in your life where you think: “I guess I’m not going to be an astronaut.” I try not to get caught up in that and try to focus on what I can still do. I’m trying to learn to speak French. I’m exploring standup. I did a standup comedy special for Showtime called Funny Women of a Certain Age. I wrote a 20-minute set and performed at a club. I find it very curious and receivable to tell women’s stories at my age. I’m close to starting my own candy business. I spent Covid perfecting this French candied orange that you dip in chocolate. In France, it’s a very long process. I’ve figured out my own version, and even my French friends are like: “This is better than anything we’ve ever had.” So I might go into the candy business selling Teri’s Chocolate Oranges. What do you mean – they already sell them?
You won The Great Celebrity Bake Off in 2018. What are your tips for avoiding a soggy bottom? VerulamiumParkRangerOh my gosh. I’m such a huge fan of that show. I love the vibe and how nice everybody is to everybody. I freaked out walking up to the white tent because I knew it from the show. The funny thing … and I’m getting to the soggy bottom … is that they have all these rules. You get told the categories and have so many days to submit your recipes. My showstopper was a 12-layer, two-tiered rainbow cake. I was still in California and the producer said: “Our flour is different than yours. There’s a good chance you will end up with a soggy bottom.” I flew from Los Angeles with 30 pounds of flour in my suitcase. I thought: “I’m going to get arrested at customs for sure.” It’s nerve-racking. I was on the floor yelling: “Bake!” into the oven like everyone does. What they didn’t show was me running around helping out Alan Carr and everyone else.